Impossible
by freedomtoaster
Summary: The damn cat flew out of nowhere, and now Ed and Al have to go to school for the first time in years. -The Hell? Is Hogwarts prepared for the Fullmetal Alchemist? features the rarely seen Armor!Al
1. Prologueish thing

AN: Yay. First Chapter. Yet another crossover between FMA and Harry Potter! :D Gotta love 'em.

This occurs during Half Blood prince for Harry Potter, and some time while Ed and Al are traveling everywhere looking for the Stone for FMA.

ATTENTION: I have read all the Harry Potter books but I don't remember them. THUS. This will follow the movie.

FMAFMAFMAHPHPHPHPHP

Hurried footsteps and excited conversations filled the air. The students of Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry were ready for another year of excitement and magic. The first years were tentatively heading towards the giant man who had called the group of them to him. Older students were already boarding the horseless carriages that were to take them to the school. Everything was normal… except for the giant suit of walking armor that stood nearly two feet taller than most of the crowd. It wore what appeared to be a loincloth and had spikes studding various parts of its body. As its heavy footsteps clanged on the ground students turned to look at the strange spectacle.

The suit of armor was dragging something behind it. Oh yeah, and the suit of armor seemed to be talking, too.

"Why won't he get up. WHY won't he wake up. Stupid Brother! All he does is sleep, and eat, and get in trouble, and act stupid, and…"

The armor continued ranting. It seemed rather frustrated.

Suddenly, another voice was heard.

"Wha- Alphonse? Wha's goin' on-"

The Armor suddenly lifted whatever it had been dragging above the crowd. What appeared to be a first year with blonde hair and some kind of red robes dangled by its hood above the students.

"Stupid Brother!" The Armor bellowed, red eyes furious. "The train stopped 15 minutes ago! I've been trying to wake you up for almost 30!"

"Sorry-"

"We're supposed to make a good impression and I end up having to DRAG you off the train!"

"AL-" The first year seemed to be attempting to defend himself, but the Armor was just too upset.

"And now EVERYONE is going to hate us-"

"AL WOULD YOU GIVE IT A REST ALREADY!" The armor looked taken aback as the red cloaked first year thrashed around. "What the hell, Al? Why are you so worked up over this?"

The Armor somehow managed to look sheepish despite the fact that its helmet couldn't make facial expressions. "Eh… Sorry brother, I guess I'm just nervous…Its been a long time since we've been to school…"

The first year relaxed. "y…yeah. It has, hasn't it."

The armor nodded furiously. Suddenly it began to do some kind of I-gotta-pee-dance. "Brother! We're gonna be late!" It rushed off, the first year still in its grip.

In the distance, a frustrated yell could be heard. "AL! Would you PUT ME DOWN?"

The Armor paused and carefully set the first year on its feet, hurriedly shouting the names "Alphonse and Edward Elric!" to professor Flitwik, who appeared to be in charge of the gate, before hurrying towards the closest carriage and jumping in. "Hurry up, Brother!"

The crowd of students was almost completely silent. The older students who hadn't gotten in a carriage yet looked nervously at the few left. No one seemed to want to go in the same direction of the two bothers... No one, that is, except for a certain brand-new prefect who took her job very seriously. Hermione Granger rushed after the two of them, bushy hair bouncing on her shoulders, pulling her fellow prefect, Ronald Weasly along behind her.

Ron tripped and slid as he tried to keep up with her. "Hermione! Just a second ago you were worried about Harry, and now you can't wait to get out of here! What gives?"

"You heard those two, 'it's been a long time since we've been to school'… They're obviously new students and that first year doesn't know that he's supposed to be getting in the rowboats. We've got to catch them before it's too late!"

She pulled him forward and finally launched herself and Ron into the same carriage as the two brothers. The first year was sprawled out along one side of the carriage…sleeping. Hermione couldn't help but be a little taken aback. He'd just been yelling a few minutes ago, and now, here he was, snoring his face off. The suit of armor that had been sitting on the other side of the carriage now turned to her.

"Oh, ah, hello. My name's Alphonse. Sorry about my brother, we were up late last night."

Hermione fixed Alphonse with a disapproving glare. "You really shouldn't be staying up late before the first day of school."

Alphonse looked crestfallen…or at least, as crestfallen as a suit of armor can look. "But, but, we were staying up late studying _for_ school!"

And Hermione couldn't help but smile. Ravenclaws, no doubt. "well, if it was for studying I suppose it's okay. Anyway, you need to wake your brother up. Even if he wants to come with his older brother, first years need to go across the moat in the row boats."

Alphonse tensed up and slowly looked towards his brother. The boy was still snoring away, showing no signs of waking up. "um, actually, he's not a first year."

"Really?" Ron questioned, leaning over the blond "Short little bloke like that? I'd of thought he'd be pretty young!"

A gloved hand suddenly shot out from the sleeping boy and latched around Ron's tie. He tried to jump back in surprise but just ended up choking himself. The not-first year slowly pulled himself up so that his fierce gold eyes could meet Ron's. And then burst into frantic yelling. "WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT HE COULD FALL IN THE GRASS AND NEVER FIND HIS WAY OUT AGAIN AND THEN BE STEPED ON BY A CATERPILLAR AND BE STUCK TO IT'S FOOT LIKE THE TINIEST PIECE OF REALLY FLAT AND BY EXTENSION SHORT PIECE OF GUM YOU EVER SAW!"

"Wha-"

"Brother! He didn't say any of that!" Alphonse had leapt over to the spazzing blond and was now holding him back so he couldn't tear Ron to shreds.

"Calm down brother, I'm sure he didn't mean it!" Alphonse looked desperately at Ron, a plea to play along heard clear in his voice."

"Uh, yeah, right, I'm really sorry about that mate." Ron scratched his head.

"See? He's sorry."

Edward carefully scrutinized the redhead. He seemed properly contrite, but GAH! This guy was just too tall. Being seen with him would make Edward look shorter. "Fine. Just don't do it again."

The Carriage started rolling towards the school and Ron and Hermione sat awkwardly next to Alphonse as Edward closed his eyes again. "Um, So, exactly how old are you guys?"

"Oh. I'm 15 and Brother's 16." Ron face-faulted and nearly fell on the ground.

"Wow, So he's only a year younger than us, Ron!"

"He- HE's the OLDER brother! Older than Alphonse? 16!" Ron would have continued except for the fact that Hermione had stomped on his foot and Edward had turned around and was now giving him the patented Glare of Death.

"I, uh, I mean how completely obvious that he is the older brother, ha ha ha. Ha. So obvious."

"So, you two are entering the school as Fifth and sixth years? That's interesting; I don't think Hogwarts has had many students join in the middle of their schooling. Oh! But wait, you said before that you hadn't been to school in a long time. Does that mean that you two are going to be taking classes for a younger year?

"Well, actually we've gone through the material for students up to _seventh_ year. However, we're not going to be normal students. My brother and I are trained as specialists for a particular subject that you guys don't actually offer here. We had to go through the material for most of your subjects independently, so while we're registered as seventh years we're going to be taking a hodgepodge of classes from different years."

"Oh my gosh, really? Wow, I've never heard of something like that happening before. What subject do you specialize in?"

Unfortunately for Hermione, the carriage chose that moment to stop, and Alphonse gave an excited squeal. He grabbed his brother and vaulted out of the carriage, heading towards the school. From far away she heard him call.

"See you inside Hermione, Ron!" The suit of armor bounded up the front steps like a hyper five year old, his sleeping brother bouncing around on his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"Hey, Hermione?"

"Yes, Ronald?"

"Why was he wearing a suit of armor?"

"I have no idea."

I noticed a surprising lack of Armor!Al in most of these, so I decided to remedy that. Don't Worry, Harry will show up later. In case you missed it, He's Creeping on Malfoy right now (train scene with the instant darkness powder and the bloody nose), so… If you DON'T want harry to show up much, or if you have a powerful hankerin' for some Harry RIGHT NOW, please tell me.

If you notice any mistakes please tell me, Kay?

Ages may be off.


	2. Chapter 2

_HI THERE. Since I've been getting some confused reviews about this, I just thought I ought to tell everyone that __**chapter one was like a prologue**__. The next few chapters are going to be about what led up to Ed and Al going to Hogwarts._

It all started with a train.

There was nothing particularly unique about said train; normal wooden seats, windows on the sides, a big black steam engine powering the thing…

In short, it was 100% normal. It just happened to be the mode of transportation that our two favorite people were riding in when fate saw fit to dump a whole new set of trouble smack in their laps.

"_!"_

A strange cry of terror filled the air. Pushing his fairly large window open, Edward Elric craned his head out, gloved hands resting on the sill, trying to see what in the world was happening.

He saw nothing. Except for the yowling gray tabby-cat hurtling towards his face. Ed didn't even have the chance to move before it landed and buried its claws in the skin on his scalp and proceeded to maul his face with its back legs.

"yeaaaaaagh! What the hell stupid cat I never did anything to you getofffffff –"

"Don't hurt it brother, it's just scared-"

"It's hurting ME, Al! AGH my eyes-" Wham!

"Brother!"

"What the hell Al! Why'd ya hit me I didn't even try to hurt-AAAAGGGGGHHHHH!"

"You were thinking about it!"

"Just help me get it off!" With a mighty _heave_ Ed managed to rip the cat off of his face. Unfortunately the feline ended up flying out of the window.

"AH!" Hands out stretched, Al tried to catch the creature before it landed on the unforgiving hard packed dirt next to the tracks. Unfortunately, thanks to his weight and strength, his lunge ended up taking his brother, himself, and a large chunk of the wall from the passenger car on a quick trip to land hard on the dirt.

Edward groaned from his place face-down on the ground and started to sit up. As he rubbed his poor damaged head, the train continued moving and left the brothers stranded on the side of the track in the middle of endless fields of farm land.

There was a moment of stunned silence as the two watched the train chug out of sight. A growl of frustration filled the air and Ed flipped himself up off the ground, eyes flashing with rage. His gaze centered on the one responsible for their troubles and he pounced. He held the cat up by the scruff of its neck, a furious scowl on his face.

"YOU. We're stranded in the middle of nowhere. And it's all your FAULT!" He poked it in the face with his automail hand. The cat's eyes narrowed and it hissed before twisting and scratching furiously at the arm holding it hostage in an attempt to make him let go. "OW! You Stupid cat!" He let go, clutching his flesh arm, his red sleeve torn to ribbons. The cat raced off, jumping over a white wooden fence and leaping into a field of grain. "Ahaha! Not so fast!" Ed raced after it, bounding through the field, eyes lit with fury. "I'm gonna KILL YOU!"

"NO! Brother!" Al cried out as hurried after them.

The tabby dodged Ed's attempts to grab it and led the two boys all the way to the other side of the field before it darted into a dilapidated old barn. Ed, Al running behind, managed to make it through the nearly caved-in doorway in time to see the cat morph into an older woman in a prim-and-proper old-fashioned green dress buttoned up to the chin. Her shoulders were covered with some kind of velvet cloak and balancing on her head was a large fancy looking hat with a red feather sticking out of it. The woman held a large golden pendant embossed with some kind of bird in one hand and had just tapped it with an odd looking perfectly smooth stick she held in her other hand.

"Envy!" All logic left Ed's mind when he saw the transformation. With a scream of rage Ed tackled the woman. Her eyes widened and she yelped in surprise as they toppled backwards on the rotting old straw that covered the floor of the barn.

She tried to point the stick at Ed but he managed to hold both of her hands immobile before she could do anything. Al tackled the two of them to keep her down, both his arm and Ed's hand touching the clunky golden pendant she had a death grip on.

"NO!" the woman cried.

Suddenly everything was swirling around him. The two boys felt a nauseating tug around their navels and the world seemed to have decided it was a good time to forget about gravity and all those other silly natural laws that govern the universe when suddenly- SLAM! The three were on the ground once more.

Al looked around in shock. They appeared to be in some kind of office. Paintings lined the walls and all sorts of shiny knick-knacks filled the shelves. Large bookcases and fragile looking glass cases were populated by quite a few old tomes and bottles, along with what appeared to be a crystal ball. A large bird the color of flames sat upon a perch near the center of the room, and, most notably, in the very center of the room was a large desk with an ancient looking old man sitting at it.

His pure white beard was easily over a foot in length and was draped on the desk. A pointy hat of blue and purple fabric sewn in a spiral with much sequins and sparkle sat upon his head. Large purple sleeves, also sequined, with blue ducks swimming around the edges had pooled around his elbows from where he sat with his chin resting on his interwoven fingers. At the moment, he sat in his high-backed fancy looking wooden chair with both eyebrows raised, openly staring at the spectacle that had landed in the middle of his office.

In the blink of an eye, Ed clapped his hands, slapping one on his automail arm and creating a deadly looking blade which was pointed at the woman who was still trapped beneath them before she could even take a breath. "What did you do? Where the hell are we!" He bellowed.

The woman's eyes widened in fear and shock. "What in the world is wrong with you young man! Release me immediately!" Her commanding voice surprised the two. She sounded like one who was used to being obeyed and allotted a large measure of respect. Actually, the command in her voice made her sound a bit like…Sensei… Ed gulped.

The old man at the table had tensed when Ed had produced a blade, and now with a smooth movement befitting a man far younger he rose and pointed what appeared to be another stick at the figures in the center of his office. Al was thoroughly confused.

"Immobilus corpus!" the man shouted. Suddenly neither Ed nor Al could move. "Wingardium leviosa!" And now they were floating. Great.

Though frozen in place, the two brothers were certainly not giving up. Minds were working furiously, trying to figure out just what was happening; You could almost see the smoke coming from their ears.

"Now, Minerva, what on earth is going on?" the old man calmly walked over to the woman, robes rustling as they dragged across the stone floor and onto the lush carpet. He reached out a hand and helped her up, carefully ducking his head so as not to let his pointed hat hit the two figures hovering frosen above them.

"Oh, Albus, it was simply awful. I have never been treated so rudely by a child in my life!"

Despite the charms cast upon him, you could see Ed's eye twitch.

Straightening her dress with quite a bit of righteous indignation, the woman continued. "The portkey you gave me malfunctioned! I ended up about 40 feet in the air above a train in the middle of the countryside!" With a huff the woman glared up at the two brothers.

"I shifted to my animagus form in the hopes of attracting less attention when I landed and I ended up running into these too. Actually, I, ah, ended up landing on the blond one's head. And then he threw me out of the window of a moving train!"

The old man raised his bushy eyebrows and chuckled. "Well, It's a good thing cats always land on their feet, isn't it Minerva?"

"Oh for heaven's sake Albus." The woman crossed her arms. "The one in the Armor was kind enough to try to help, but merely ended up knocking all of us out of the train. I tried to escape and port-key back here, but the blond one seemed to blame me for their fall and gave chase. I re-activated the port-key when I got to the first place I could change back safely, but these two saw me and I ended up bringing them along when they attacked me."

"Hmm, Very curious. My port-keys don't usually malfunction…In fact, I can't recall even one ever having a problem." He stroked his beard. "If I may, could I see the port-key, Minerva?"

"Of course, Albus. And, It worked quite fine when I reactivated it for the return trip." She said, handing the large golden pendant she'd been holding to him.

"Indeed." The old man pulled out his…uh…Stick, once again, and, muttering, pointed it at the pendant. After a few moments, he seemed satisfied and stopped. A warm smile graced his features as he looked up at Ed and Al.

"Well, isn't that interesting. It appears that the last person to use this particular pendant as a port-key was a very good friend of mine, Nickolas Flamel." Ed was quite unnerved as the old man grinned at them, a manipulative twinkle in his eye that reminded him far too much of Mustang.

"Occasionally, When a wizard uses a port-key, especially a wizard with very strong magic, Some of their magical signature stays within the enchanted object. In very, very rare instances this can cause the port-key to malfunction and seek out the signature that used it last." The old man's eyes lost a bit of the twinkle and his smile faded a bit.

"Unfortunately, my dear friend has already passed away. Sometimes, this can cause the port-key to seek out a signature similar to the one that now no longer exists. That shouldn't have even had the chance to happen, for he was the last great Alchemist of this world…Or so I thought." The excited twinkle was suddenly back full-force.

"Now, you two wouldn't happen to know anything about Alchemy, would you?"

Ooooo-KAY. Important A/N time.

THIS IS IMPORTANT. NO magic for Ed and AL. NONE. They can still do alchemy, but NO MAGIC.

This is in Manga world/FMA brotherhood for them.

Reason the port-key thingy only happened now: This is the first time it's been used since Flamel's death. Duh. Before that, it was just sitting in Dumbledore's desk, rotting away~ at least until he rummaged around in there for something to charm. XD

Now, I'm not saying Ed and Al are the best alchemists of their world. Maybe they are, maybe they're not. Let's just say it's because they are the closest to Flamel in 'Magical' signature. Even though they can't do magic. ALL WILL BE EXPLAINED. Later. Hopefully.

Minerva did not apparate because it is impossible to do so on Hogwarts grounds.

Such a fast update for me~ wow! Eh. Don't expect this to happen often.


	3. Chapter 3

_"Unfortunately, my dear friend has already passed away. Sometimes, this can cause the port-key to seek out a signature similar to the one that now no longer exists. That shouldn't have even had the chance to happen, for he was the last great Alchemist of this world…Or so I thought." The excited twinkle was suddenly back full-force._

_"Now, you two wouldn't happen to know anything about Alchemy, would you?"_

Silence.

Not a sound came from the two brothers.

Minerva coughed. "Ah, Albus, perhaps you would consider removing the freezing charm before you began asking questions?"

"Oh, of course. My mistake, apologies to the two of you." The old man nodded towards Ed and Al. "I do hope you'll forgive me for that, although I'm sure you can see why I chose to freeze you in the first place. After all, strange people suddenly appearing in your office and assaulting of your professors, well, I'm sure you would have done the same in my place." Cue the creepy I'm-just-a-harmless-old-man smile.

The old man raised his stick and spat out some more jumbled up phrases in Latin and suddenly Edward and Alphonse found themselves sitting in two rather overstuffed armchairs. Ed eyed the old man speculatively, eyes narrowed warily. This was getting a little too out there for him. Obviously the man before him was using some kind of Alchemy. There was no other way for him to have created the chair he was now sitting in, and yet he claimed that the last Alchemist 'of this world' was dead. Ed sighed heavily. Old people were all crazy. There were all kinds of alchemists. Heck, he was one, and the old man knew it. What kind of crazy people was he dealing with here?

"Now, boys, If you please-"

"If we please. Those are some pretty words you're using old man, 'If we please?' as in, 'If it pleases you'? Well you know what _doesn't_ please me? Being dragged who _knows_ where by a crazy old lady who changes into a fucking CAT at will!" Ed's eyebrow was twitching, and his hands had gripped the arms of the armchair so hard that his metal hand had splintered the wood.

Not that he noticed. He was too busy plotting revenge on the stupid cat that had dragged him and his brother into this mess. A cat, which, by the way, he was fairly certain had nothing to do with Envy. He'd had the chance to look in her eyes before the 'port-key' had gone off, and (although he'd never spent a particularly long time staring soulfully into Envy's eyes) He was certain that there was a difference between the two.

Something always seemed…off…about Envy. Like he was unstable. This Cat-woman had no such air about her. No, this cat woman was not unstable or even the tiniest bit crazy. She was just an EVIL old woman who was currently glaring at him with the promise of pain in her eyes. Nope, nothing unstable about that at all. Winry did it all the time.

Then again… Ed wasn't exactly an expert on reading people. Psh. Who was he kidding? He was Awful at reading people. He shrugged mentally. Better just keep quiet about Homunculi or anything related. He was pretty sure neither of the (crazy) old people in the room had anything to do with the inhuman creatures…but whatever. He'd keep his mouth shut.

"Oh yes. Terribly sorry about that my dear boy, but you see, it was purely an accident. As I explained earlier, the port-key-…" Ed stopped listening.

'_Blah blah blah blah blah…I guess I have to be a little clearer when speaking with crazy people.'_ He cleared his throat and held up a hand. The old man paused in the midst of reiterating his earlier explanation and Ed took the chance to bluntly ask a fairly simple question.

"Who the Fuck are you?"

"Ah! Now that, my dear boy, is a very good question, although I must confess I have never had the pleasure of hearing it phrased as such before." The old man chuckled. "My name is Albus Dumbledore. Of course, there are numerous other titles I have the pleasure of being known by, but for now, you may know me as Albus Dumbledore, the headmaster of Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry." The old man, Albus, sat back down in the chair behind his desk, while the woman waved her stick and sat in the chair that appeared before her. "And _this_ is the deputy headmistress, Minerva McGonagall." She nodded at them.

Al was appalled. _'These poor people…'_ Obviously the two before them were mentally incapacitated in some manner. They seemed to think they were performing magic! Obviously it was some form of advanced alchemy. Brilliant, to be sure…for heaven's sake the man before him had simply waved a stick! They had obviously put a whole lot of work into this so it seemed like the y were actually using the sticks, but Al doubted that they really needed them; it was most likely just another part of the insane web the two had woven to go with their delusions of witches and wizards. Ideas and speculations rushed into his head a t light speed as he puzzled about this strange new conundrum he and his brother faced. Perhaps the man had created some sort of remote activated circle? Maybe there was an original one on the stick and he simply activated that one when he wanted to activate a pre-made circle…no. That would never have worked. He and his brother hadn't been around long enough to give this 'Albus' a chance to place a circle on them, even if it was pre-drawn…

As Al lost himself in countless calculations and hypotheses, Ed continued his conversation with the crazy old coot.

'_Dumbledore…What the fuck kind of a name is that?' _Ed tapped his fingers on the arm of the chair that hadn't been crushed into splinters.

"Okay old man, So…lets say I believe you. You run a school for magic." Ed leaned forward, eyes sharp. "Prove it. Let's go meet some students." Inside he was cackling_. 'no way is this place really a school, no sane person would come here to learn "magic"!'_

"Ah, well, I'm afraid the students have gone home for the summer. They can't stay here all year, now can they?"

_'Hmph. Of course. So enveloped in his own delusions that he can't see the truth.'_

"Right. And I suppose this magic of yours is the real thing, hm?"

"Why yes! Of course." Dumbledore eyed him speculatively. "Perhaps… No. It can't be…Then again…" Dumbledore stared at the two. "I suppose you wouldn't happen to be Nicholas's students or some-such, Hm?"

Ed shook his head, one eye brow raised and Curiosity rising.

"My, this is a puzzle. Hm. Well, I suppose it is possible, Nicholas did have quite a bit of power..." Ed twitched impatiently. Albus nodded resolutely to himself, seeming to have reached a conclusion. "You know nothing of Magic, Correct?" Ed rolled his eyes and nodded.

"And yet, the port-key came to you two. I ask you again, Do you know of alchemy?" Ed narrowed his eyes and glanced at Al, who seemed to be spaced out completely, murmuring to himself. Ed's eyes darted back to Dumbledore.

"yes. We're Alchemists."

"Fascinating. You see, in my experience Alchemy has been an art that can only be pursued by those who use magic. If that is not the case, then I suppose I was right about the fact that Nicholas was the last great alchemist of this world. You, my boy, are from another." The old man sagely nodded his head, as though he had bestowed some great bit of wisdom on the two brothers.

Ed stared at him incredulously.

'_Oh for fuck's sake. They're all crazy.'_

_Woot. Finally chapter three. HAH. not much action, here, but don't worry, it'll catch up later. TEll me if you see any mistakes, Constructive Criticism welcome! I LOVE ANYONE WHO REVIEWS. Yes. i do indeed. _

_I get the feeling this one is a little confusing. Tell me if you think so too, and give me thoughts on how to fix it if you agree! ^_^  
><em>


	4. Chapter 4

_LAST TIME:_

_Ed had half risen out of his seat and was obviously rather frustrated. The armor beside him didn't seem to be faring much better, in fact, at this moment Al was feeling rather betrayed, seeing as the cat that he had fallen out of a train to protect was in fact a rather unhappy older woman._

_"What are you talking about? Magic isn't real, you Whack-job! What kind of backwards place is this?" Ed had risen fully from his chair and was now menacingly pointing his blade as the lying Creep who did alchemy with a stick._

_, and then mused out loud. "I had no idea our worlds were so different. I assumed there had to be at least a little magic in your world, considering the fact that you obviously have alchemy…although I suppose it is rather different from the alchemy I've seen here…but still…"_

_"yes. We're Alchemists."_

_"Fascinating. You see, in my experience Alchemy has been an art that can only be pursued by those who use magic. If that is not the case, then I suppose I was right about the fact that Nicholas was the last great alchemist of this world. You, my boy, are from another." The old man sagely nodded his head, as though he had bestowed some great bit of wisdom on the two brothers._

_Ed stared at the man incredulously._

_'Oh for fuck's sake. They're all crazy.'_

~~~~\

Edward slumped, sinking deep into his chair. Eyes closed, he ran his flesh hand through his hair, sighing exasperatedly.

"Look. I don't have time for this. Just point us towards the nearest train station, and Al and I will get out of your hair." Ed sighed again_. 'I may not have a clue where we are, but all trains go somewhere, right? We go far enough, I'm sure we'll find someone who can help us head back to central.'_

"I'm afraid I can't do that." Albus replied, looking over the small pair of spectacles perched on his nose at the golden haired boy seated in front of him.

"What!" Ed shot up out of his chair. "Why the Hell NOT?"

"well, you two obviously haven't believed a word I've said. If I send you out to the muggle world I have no doubt you'll reveal your alchemy to those who have no knowledge of such magics." The old man folded his hands together and raised an eye brow at Ed, who bristled.

"FIRST of all, Alchemy is not anything close to being magic. It's a science. You can't just do whatever you want, and you have to follow the rules." Ed glared sourly at the old man's wand and thought to himself _'although you guys seem to have no trouble with rules. None at all.'_ He grimaced. "And secondly, just about everyone knows what alchemy is. It's not as though we keep it a secret!"

Ed paused, suddenly looking more like the kid he was than a fierce alchemist faced with a problem he didn't understand. "And what the Hell is a Muggle?"

Dumbledore chuckled. "A non-magical person. And I'm afraid that most muggles know nothing of magic."

'Handy.' Ed thought. After all, the old man had just covered another hole in his story. Whereas before Ed could have proven there was no such thing as magic by gathering witnesses of the fact,

Now the man had a clever solution to any encounters Ed could possibly have with NORMAL people. '_Oh no, of course they don't know about magic. They're Muggles! WE don't tell muggles Anyyyyything because they can't do any of the hocus-pocus that we do. Which totally exists. And is in no way fake.' _He snorted, half grinning, half grimacing._ 'Yeah right.' _And now, if the old man was telling the truth about this place being a school (which Ed highly doubted, by the way,) then he'd be facing an enormous amount of people who were positive that yes, magic existed, and yes, they were doing it when they waved a stick in the air. Ed groaned and let his head come to rest heavily in his hands. This was so messed up. He really didn't need this right now, not with all the troubles the homoculi were causing.

The Cat-chimera-he-didn't-know-what-the-hell-she-really-was woman spoke up. "Albus, what exactly do you plan on doing with these two?"

"Alchemists," The old man mused, "are a rare thing these days. Nicholas held his secrets close, and although we know a few things about alchemy there are few who understand the intricacies of the art." He stroked his beard. "The only bits of common knowledge regarding the subject are the philosopher's stone and turning lead into gold."

The two boys sitting in front of him were suddenly very alert. The suit of armor creaked as it leaned forward, eyes burning, and the blonde boy sitting next to it was suddenly sitting very straight, eyes wide. "Common knowledge? The philosopher's stone is common knowledge?" His eyes bulged, and his arms began flailing wildly as he gulped in a deep breath as though he was about to begin shouting, but before he could let loose the suit of armor was suddenly holding him back with a hand over his mouth. The armor ducked his head bashfully.

"Sorry," he began apologetically, "where we come from information about the philosopher's stone is rather…sensitive."

Albus regarded the two thoughtfully.

"Here is no different, details regarding the stone are closely guarded. In fact, the only reason such an artifact became known was because it was brought to my school for safe-keeping a few years ago. "

Alphonse perked up a bit.

"It was here? A real philosopher's stone was here?" He tightened his grip on his struggling brother. "Do you; um…Know where it is now, by any chance?"

Albus sighed, although he didn't stop eying the brothers suspiciously. "Alas, the stone was destroyed soon after it was brought here."

Edward, who had finally managed to free himself from his brother's clutches, almost fell over. "You, you just destroyed it? Just like that?"

"Yes, you see, it was too much of a threat. A dark wizard, seeking the secret to eternal life, even attempted to steal it from within these very walls. We had no choice. The destruction of the stone was by far the best option we had."

"I don't understand." The armor was looking at him as though he'd just turned the world on its head. "it doesn't make any sense, why destroy it? If you wanted to get rid of it, why didn't you just use it up? Build an impossibly big castle, maybe visit a hospital and heal every person you could lay your hands on until it was all used up, do ANYTHING but destroy it. You could have helped so many people, even for a short amount of time. I just don't get it." The armor's glowing red eyes glared at Albus accusingly.

Albus had actually pulled back a bit is surprise. "My dear boy, I'm afraid there seems to have been a misunderstanding. As far as I am aware, the philosopher's stone that existed in this world only had the power to extend a person's life far longer than could ever be natural. There was no healing factor, nor was there a…great castle building factor."

"…Oh." Alphonse looked at the ground.

Edward leaned on the chair next to him. _'Considering what we know about the stone as of now, this philosopher's stone the old geezer is talking about …it could be an incomplete real philosophers stone. After all, homoculi live for years, who's to say the stone can't increase longevity. '_

He straightened and fixed the headmaster with a steely golden gaze. "Who made it."

The old man eyed him carefully before he spoke. "My old friend, Nickolas Flamel."

"The dead guy?"

Albus winced. "Yes."

"And he was your friend?"

"…that's what I said, yes."

"sooo…He was your friend, and now he's dead. He didn't happen to leave anything behind for you, did he?"

The headmaster smiled. "as a matter of fact, he did. I was his apprentice for a very short amount of time, his only apprentice. He left me many of his notes, formulas and such, and I happen to have quite a few I made myself while I was working with him."

Ed slouched a bit, fixing the man with a scowl. "You know where I'm going with this, old man."

"Ah, yes. I do believe I have the gist of it. You want those notes, and I want you to stay here. Not forever, of course, but I believe having you around for the next year or so would be most beneficial." He beamed.

Edwards's eyes bulged. "Are you INSANE? We can't stay here for a whole year!"

The smile faded. "well, perhaps not the whole year then. Let's just play it by ear, shall we?"

"Now that that's settled, I'll have a house Elf show you too your rooms, have no fear the notes I promised are already there! I'll see you two tomorrow, bright and early. The house Elves are fixing some delightful eggs and hash-"

'_WHAT the hell what the hell what the hell-'_Edward's brain had decided it would be a great time to stop working, and Alphonse wasn't doing much better.

Dumbledore had begun herding the boys out of his office before either one had managed to fully snap out of the shock of having an agreement made so suddenly and without their consent when Ed suddenly grabbed his arm. "Wait."

"yes?" Albus asked benevolently, eyes twinkling.

Ed glared. "Before we agree to anything, I'm going to need some kind of proof you're not just some insane old man with a really big house."

Albus laughed."No need to worry my dear boy, no need to worry, I'm sure that can be arranged…first thing in the morning! Go on now!" He shoved them out the door and it slammed shut behind them, leaving Edward and Alphonse at the top of a winding staircase. Ed spun around, furious, hand raised as though he was going to try to punch a hole through the door…and his brother's enormous metal hand gently grasped his arm before he could

"C'mon brother, we might as well wait. Besides, he's going to give us free food in the morning." The armor seemed to smile as Ed's stomach growled." Let's go."

And with that, Alphonse took the first voluntary step into this odd world they'd found themselves in, dragging his protesting brother behind him.

YAY. took me long enough, right? XD

If you see any mistakes, tell me, I'll do my best to fix them.

Feedback would be awesome. If you like it, I'd love to hear why. If you hate it, well, I'd love to hear why as well.

Peace and love, y'all, peace and love.


	5. Chapter 5

"Broooother!"

A fuzzy blond head shot up from the nest-like pile of blankets it had been buried in.

"Alphonse?"

"WAKE UP!"

_Cringe._

The body attached to the rather tired looking fuzzy blonde head sat up all the way, revealing a very tired and half asleep Edward Elric, clad only in his boxers and a wrinkled white cotton tank-top. Said Elric was now looking around blearily.

He was in one of the rather large red and gold themed rooms the house elves had procured for him and his brother. A room they received after (of course) a long and rather harrowing discussion (read: fight with lots of screaming and a wee bit of violence) over what exactly the house elf was. The stupid thing seemed positive it was exactly what it _said_ it was: A house elf, and most certainly not a chimera of any sort. In fact, it had been rather offended by the notion, and had been most cold to Edward after he had accused it of being such. It had been so offended, in fact, that it refused to speak to him for almost the entire walk to their rooms, a route that traversed some disappearing dark hallways, and, at one point in time, a rather temperamental moving staircase.

Oddly enough, the "house elf" had developed a borderline obsession with Alphonse, and after its "discussion" with Edward, it had managed to obtain the right to come back and clean Alphonse every Sunday. The idea still freaked Edward out a bit, but after the elf had started crying and banging its head on the wall when Al had initially said no…well, he could see why his brother had given in.

Ed yawned and scrubbed at his eyes with his flesh-and-blood hand. What a weird place. Heck, even he, Mr. the-Alchemist-who's-been-fooled-too-many-times-to-count-and-thus-has-developed-a-cynical-side-the-size-of-central was starting to believe the idea of the place being a magic school. Well, not really, but he could see how others might find it easy to believe.

As he shrugged off the last of his sleepiness he gave the room an appraising look. Red and gold, his two signature colors, were draped throughout. Rich gold wallpaper, some soft red velvet curtains around the bed…even the stone fireplace was painted in red and gold, with some _very_ nice red and gold armchairs stationed in front of it. Ah, yes. He took a deep breath and finally slipped from the bed, padding softly through the thick (red) carpet to the bathroom door (also red, with a golden doorknob and some detailed golden finishing around the edge). It was like the fucking room was MADE for him. '_Although'_ he thought ruefully as he washed his face, '_The place could use a bit more character…red and gold's great, but a nice gargoyle or something would really bring out the "old castle" feel.'_ Ed shrugged, and after brushing his teeth he strolled leisurely out of the bathroom. Between clenched teeth he held a hair tie, and his arms were stretched out behind him as he slowly braided his hair, careful not to let the golden strands get caught in the hinges of his he was done he carefully held the end of his braid with one hand, bringing it forward over his shoulder while with the other he grabbed the hair tie and in a few practiced motions tied the braid off. He let out a big huff of air, stretching his arms out and shaking them a bit before he reached for his suitcase…which wasn't there. _'Great. Damn cat woman.'_ He sighed, looking around for his clothes from the day before. There they were! Sitting… folded? _'-the HELL-'_ on the coffee table in front of the fireplace. He walked over and suspiciously sniffed at them, carefully holding himself so he could pull away at a moments notice if they stunk of sweat like he thought they might. He was pleasantly surprised to note that they had actually been washed for him…

'_Actually, I take that back.'_ His shirt smelled of lilacs. Ed wrinkled his nose, pulling back before he sighed_, 'better than unwashed teenager.'_ He began getting dressed, pulling on his leather pants and black tank top, over which he let his short white trimmed black jacket rest. His pair of shoes that most certainly DID NOT have height extensions on them came next. He fished a pair of white gloves out of his bag before dramatically swinging his red cloak around and letting it settle on his shoulders.

He grinned a little and pretended to polish his nails on his shirt before stepping towards the door out of his room. His hand was reaching for the doorknob when he paused, rubbing his chin. A thoughtful look crept over his face before his eyes gleamed with mischief and a sly grin slipped across his lips. He clapped his now gloved hands together and quickly touched the wall before he opened the door to his bedroom and stepped out into the little common-room area that joined his room with Al's, red cloak swirling in his wake.

Behind him, as the door swung closed, an evil looking spiked gargoyle with a face that looked suspiciously like his own grinned, with another just like it stationed in each corner of the room.

**(Line break, breaking the line)**

Edward let his hand drag heavily over his face before he looked up. "Really, Al? Another cat? Wasn't the last one bad enough? How can you be sure that _this_ one's not a wacky human in disguise, too?"

Alphonse looked up from where he'd been crouching on the floor, a struggling feline trapped in his arms. "Aw, come on brother, I think this one's normal! Look, at her, isn't she cute?" He thrust the hissing and spitting cat into his brother's face, who took a step back so he wouldn't be sliced to ribbons by her claws. The rather ratty old thing was fighting for all she was worth, but making no headway against Al's armor.

"riiight. Al, that thing looks rabid. Go put it back wherever you found it."

Alphonse made no sign of having heard anything, carefully cuddling the mangy cat in his arms and cooing at it while it tried to take his head off.

Ed felt a vein pulse on his temple. "Al…" No response. Ed tugged on his braid in frustration before he carefully leaned over his brother's shoulder to get a closer look at the cat. Upon seeing a face that wasn't made of impenetrable metal, the cat attempted to launch herself to freedom. Ed jerked backwards, falling to the ground as his brother's arm shot out and grabbed the evil furball before it could escape. Al snuck a quick look at his stunned brother before he whipped back around and started petting the cat in his arms once again, shoulders hunched up as he acted like nothing had happened.

Ed raised an incredulous eyebrow as he took in the solid view of his brother's back. "Are you kidding me?" He exclaimed. Al said nothing. "Al! What the hell is your problem!" still slapped a hand over his eyes. The damned kid was still ignoring him. Just because Al was taller than him did NOT mean he could get away with anything he wanted!

"C'mon, Al! Take that thing outside before it starts foaming at the mouth! NOW!"

Al turned his head and looked at Ed petulantly before pointedly turning back to the cat.

"SERIOUSLY?" Ed fumed. "ALRIGHT ya stupid tin can, that's it!" He jumped up from the ground and started pushing on Al's back with all his might, trying to get his brother over to the door. "Put. It. OUT!"

Alphonse, of course, hardly moved an inch.

Ed let out a hiss of frustration and clapped his hands together. If Alphonse had had eyes, they would have widened in surprise. As it was, he merely gave off the air of a very surprised suit of armor as he found himself hauled out of the room by a chunk of rock shaped like a fist.

Edward stomped heavily out of the enormous hole in the wall the fist had made and glared at his brother, now hanging upside down in the hallway.

"Put the cat down, Al." he hissed, eyes narrowed, looking very much like a pissed-off cat himself.

Al's eyes glowed in desperation. "NO!" He shouted, and suddenly Edward was the one upside down, the remnants of a chalk transmutation circle visible on the vine-like stream of rock that held him suspended in the air by his ankle. Ed glowered at his brother before clapping and flipping himself up so he could touch his hands to the rock on his ankle. He flipped in midair and landed on one knee, but before he could say anything he had to evade the spike suddenly hurtling towards him, courtesy of a pissed-off little brother.

"You never let me keep cats, and I get that. I know why, brother!" Alphonse hesitated before standing up straight and looking pleadingly at Ed. "but now we're actually going to be staying in once place for a while! Now's the perfect time! Please, brother!"

Ed, now balancing on the top of a spike, tensed up. "Oh hell no! C'mon Al, I know how this works! You're going to get attached to the stupid thing, and then when we leave we're going to have to take it with us, and you KNOW we can't do that!"

Al's shoulders drooped, and he gave his brother the most betrayed face he'd ever seen. One that almost made him rethink his decision about the cat (heck, he hadn't even known it was possible for a suit of armor to look that hurt!). And then Al opened the panel in the front of his chest and chucked the cat inside, getting into a fighting stance. His brow seemed to lower, and now the armor looked quite menacing.

Ed let out an indignant squawk as the spike he'd been balancing on dissolved into the floor and he laded on his butt. "Owww, Al, thanks a lot, I think I just bruised my ass!"

Grumbling about stupid little brothers too big for their own good Ed stood up again. All of a sudden his face lit up and he pointed at Al's chest, snickering. "ya know, Al, I don't think you're really making that cat like you very much." He could hear yowling and what sounded like furious scratching from inside the armor. For a second he could have sworn Al was blushing, but then Who-knows-how-many pounds of furious little brother was hurtling towards him.

Ed ducked, clapping and slamming his hands on the floor as he created an enormous slide, taking both himself and his brother down a floor. He jumped up the second his feet touched the floor, while Al was still sliding and disoriented and clapped once more, creating a box of stone and trapping his brother inside. Grinning, he walked over and made a hole in the side so he could see in…only to discover the box was empty. He whirled around just in time to see stone hands reaching for his arms. He backpedaled furiously out of the way and started running down the hall, following the metal footseps he could hear echoing ahead of him. All of a sudden, they stopped. Ed froze and looked around. He heard a whooshing sound and looked up, seeing only stone. He looked down again, only to discover he was in the same sort of box he'd created for his brother.

"HA HA, VERY FUNNY AL!" he yelled, clapping his hands and grabbing onto the enormous spike that was now growing out of the box's remains. He put up a hand to shade his eyes from the …candle-light… (it was a reflex, okay?) and looked out. Nothing. He waited. No sound. Fiery golden eyes narrowed and his gloved hands tightened on the spike he had created, waiting for something to happen- when he heard the odd Velcro-like sound of a transmutation. He tensed and suddenly he was falling. The floor had disappeared! He tried to let go of the spike he was holding onto but he was now stuck quite tight, in fact, it looked like someone had merged the seam on the right side of his clothing with the spike, and his automail hand was now deeply imbedded in the rock. Edwards eye twitched. When the HELL had he found the time to do all this?

"ALPHONSE!" he roared in anger as he and the spike plummeted to the ground, his red cloak billowing up around his face, obscuring his vision. His entire body jerked with the shock of the fall, and he winced as the port on his arm was stretched in a way it really wasn't supposed to go. He couldn't see a thing! His damned red cloak had fallen over his head and after wrestling with it for a few seconds he decided he couldn't get it off with only one hand. Cursing, he fumbled in his pocket for a piece of chalk. He could feel the spike of rock, which must have been about 20 feet tall (hey, those hallways had tall ceilings), start to lean and so he quickly scratched out a circle, letting the palm of his flesh hand slam onto it in a crackling flash of blue light just in time to stop the spike from falling over. He cursed again, and quickly scratched out another circle so he could free himself from the rock. Clothing and rock was kind of tricky, and he usually didn't like messing with his stuff like that. Grumbling he used his now free automail hand to flip his cloak back so he could see and then the blond braced his feet against the rock and, standing up, slid down the sloping spike to the ground. He huffed and started patting down his clothing, trying to brush away loose bits of rubble and dust.

Before he was done, he heard an odd clanging sound and whipped his head around to pinpoint where it had come from, his now messy blond braid swinging around to slap him in the back of the neck.

He froze, eyes wide. In front of him, mouths open in surprise, was a table full of people who appeared to be having, well, breakfast. His stomach let out a loud growl, as, off on the right of the table, a jolly looking plump woman in brown and green dropped her fork. A clanging sound rang out as it clattered against her plate. '_Ah, that's what that sound must have been' _he mused absently. Now that he'd looked up, he found himself too preoccupied with the room he was now in to really give the thought much attention.

On each side of him were two enormous wooden tables, each equipped with quite a few matching wooden benches. Above each table was a banner. The first was sewn in green and silver, a delicate snake coiled in the center; the second was sewn in blue, and a copper, well, maybe bronze, color. The two colors created the outline of some kind of bird, a crow or raven or something, and then there was one in red and gold with what looked like some kind of chimera rearing up like those old family crests with lions on them. The last one was black and yellow, with the picture of a… '_Is that a badger?'_ Ed asked himself incredulously. _'What the hell?'_ he scratched his head. _'Probably some sort of coat of arms for the school, although why have four?'_ suddenly he paled. _'oh fuck.'_ The tables were quite large…could it be that the school was large enough that it needed to be split up so it could actually give students a chance of competing in sports? Of course, something like that could also happen if a school was too out of the way to find another school it could compete with…Damn. Either way, this school would need to be attended by a quite a few more people than he'd been hoping there would be. He sure hoped he was wrong, because if he wasn't, he had a bigger problem on his hands than he'd thought.

Someone cleared their throat up at the table in the front of the room. Ed looked back at it. '_Well, waddaya know.'_ The old coot Bumble-something-or-other was sitting in the center of the table. He cleared his throat once more and looked at Ed over the rims of his glasses.

"Why hello, Edward. I see you took the liberty of finding your way down to the great hall on your own. I _had_ sent a house elf up to your rooms for such a purpose…"

'_Oh yeah.'_ Edward scratched the back of his head sheepishly, glancing up at the enormous hole in the ceiling of the room while the rest of the…well, he assumed they were teachers, looked on in awe at the destruction.

"Sorry about that…" he coughed nervously. "We were just…um…"

"BROTHER?" Alphonse's call echoed through the room, breaking a few of the teachers out of their stupors. Ed looked up. "Down here, Al!" he yelled, cupping a hand around his mouth so the sound would go further.

There was the quiet scratching sound of chalk on stone, and his brother came sliding down a pillar of rock in much the same way Ed had, although _this_ Elric had a cat clutched in his arms.

"Brother, look at her! She's all calm now, can you really say-" he shut up as Ed grabbed his arm and turned him towards the table full of shocked faculty.

"Um…Hello there!" Al's childishly awkward voice echoed through the silent hall, before a choked gasp was heard.

"Mrs. Norris!" A ragged old man rushed awkwardly over to the two boys, muttering in concern. Ed wrinkled his nose in disgust. The seedy old man _literally_ stank.

"MR. Filch!" came a concerned call from the head table. The old man paused, then wheeled around and glared at the Headmaster in an odd kind of hurt fury. He whipped out his arm and pointed at the rubble on the ground of the great hall.

"I ain't cleaning that up sir, no way should I 'ave to clean that up and you know it!" his warbly voice echoed through the hall as he turned around and rushed the rest of the way over to where "Mrs. Norris" lay ensconced in Al's arms.

"Hey pops, no worries with that, we can clean up our own mess!" Ed said loudly, a little offended.

Mr filch slowed a few feet away from Alphonse and eyed them guardedly. "Can you really?" he queried roughly, his gravely voice suspicious.

Alphonse nodded, "Of course! Brother and I are alchemists you know, we can clean something like this up no problem!"

The man, who Ed supposed was a janitor of some sort, gave them an odd sort of look, that kind of reminded Ed of the way he and Al must have looked after a few days on that island Teacher had left them on…the Starving-animal-faced-with-adorable-bunny-as-food look. You don't wanna do it, but you'd rather kill a bunny than starve. It was plain "Mr. Filch" had no love for them, and it looked like he didn't really want their help at all, but faced with cleaning it up _himself_ and having them do it for him, there was no doubt he'd pick _them,_ hands down.

Creeping closer, Mr. filch peered carefully at Mrs. Norris, and, apparently dubbing her unharmed, snatched her out of Al's reluctant arms. He glared at them for a moment, his gaze snapping up and down between his calm and apparently content cat, and the two brothers, before he turned away, muttering "Well, if Mrs. Norris likes them, and they clean up after themselves, I suppose it'll be all right…"

Ed looked after the man in confusion as he headed back towards the head table. _'I think we just made a friend.'_ He thought incredulously, before grimacing and shaking his head.

'_And ya' know, I'm pretty sure the only reason that cat is at_ all _calm right now is because She was knocked around so much she's got a concussion.' _

Sighing, Ed patted his brother's arm.

"Don't worry Al, there'll be other cats."

"I know." Alphonse sighed, looking up tearfully at the hole in the ceiling. "None like her, though."

Ed's eyebrow twitched as he tried to smile.

**(Chapter END)**

Woo. Dang, that chapter was a whole heck of a lot longer than the other ones I put up. Just sat down and wrote it for no apparent reason today. Gotta love those random urges.

First vaguely fight-ish scene EVER. :D

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IF YOU LOVE THIS: please do the same. Heck, if you loved it, just let me _know,_ and I will love you for frigging ever.


	6. Chapter 6

Thunk.

Ed looked up in awe. The tower of papers was teetering uncertainly far above his head. The top even passed above Al's helmet, and that was nothing to scoff at.

He turned to look incredulously at Dumbledore. How the fucking hell had the old man managed to carry all that? It would have taken at least three trips even for him, and that white bearded old fool was waaaay past his prime; no way he did it all by himself. Ed shook his head. Damn, he wished he'd been paying attention when Dumbledore had walked up; no doubt he'd used some of that wonky magic stuff.

Yes, Magic. Edward had decided that no matter how ridiculous the concept was, it was different enough that it didn't deserve to just be called "that weird alchemy" and since he was far too lazy to come up with a specific name for the stuff, "magic" it was. Heck, Al had been calling the stuff "magic" from the very first day they'd landed in this god-forsaken castle. And anyway, there were enough books on the subject for it to hold some truth to it. After all, one didn't exactly pull a library on a fake subject out of thin air. Obviously a very large group of people believed in it, and considering what he'd seen and read so far Ed was beginning to think it might be a better idea to stop trying to figure out all the theory behind the subject and focus more on how they were going to use it. Or rather, how they were going to convince someone else to use it, because according to Dumbledore they didn't have an ounce of magic in either one of their bodies.

After cleaning up the great hall, he and Al had been introduced to the library. Ohdearlord was that place great. If only the libraries at central had the same wealth of knowledge they'd uncovered there. Sure, a few were worthless, like that one "Magical Me" book. Useless piece of crap, the entire book was full of that Gilderoy Lockheart person waxing on about how great he was.

But the rest of the library was chock full of stuff he'd never even dreamed of. He and Al had spent nearly a week in there, Ed only eating when the house-elves managed to tear his attention away from a book long enough to shove something down his throat. They still hadn't even made their way through more than a quarter of the books in the place. A dreamy look passed over Ed's face as he fantasized about finding a simple spell to replace AL's body in one of the books, using only frog legs or bat wings.

Hah. Who was he kidding? Even if something as ridiculous as that existed, They would need the entire year to get through the entire library, and he wasn't even counting the "Restricted section". He'd tried to use his alchemy to get past the complex spells woven around the area, but he'd made very little headway and he was a little hesitant to plunge right in like he wanted to. This magic was unpredictable and he had no idea what kind of rebound it might spur.

"Ahem."

Someone was clearing their throat. Oh yeah…Dumbledore. He was the one who'd finally dragged the two brothers out of the library, with the help of McGonagall and some well placed comments about how not sleeping stunted growth. And so here they were. Having breakfast in the great hall. Well, he was; Al was just pretending to eat.

Like always.

Ed felt a wave of depression sweep over him and he looked down, swallowing hard.

_'Yeah. Like always.' _

"AHEM," Dumbledore cleared his throat again and Ed blearily looked up, finally registering that he was supposed to respond.

"Huh?"

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow, before turning to address Alphonse. "I believe your brother needs some time to restart that wonderful brain of his," he remarked dryly. Alphonse bit back a chuckle as he glanced over at the slightly vacant expression his brother's face. The blonde was now staring at the plate of scrambled Eggs sitting in front of him as though it held the secrets to the universe. He blinked sleepily before rubbing at his eyes and turning to look balefully at Dumbledore.

"Yeah, yeah. We got the point old man. Sleep more. Will do." He yawned as he started to sway, before plunging face-first into his eggs with a dull thunk. Alphonse winced.

"Brother?"

A loud snoring emitted from the plate. Al shook his head ruefully. He kept on forgetting that just because he didn't get tired didn't mean everyone else could suddenly go without sleep. Especially his brother. Ed usually needed a lot of sleep, and when he got sucked into a book he tended to forget to do just about everything except breathe. Al pressed a hand to his hard metal forehead, willing himself to remember that Ed was more fragile than him. The only problem was that he was just as bad as Ed was around books.

"-and I thought that now would be a good time to give you Flamel's notes."

Al snapped out of his thoughts just in time to catch the last half of the sentence.

"Flamel's notes?" the suit of armor asked, looking up with blazing eyes at the stack of papers still balanced precariously on the table.

"Yes indeed my dear boy, although I do warn you, a good portion of them are in a code for which I have no key."

"HAH." Ed was apparently still hanging on to consciousness despite the fact that he had not raised his head from the plate of eggs. "We got this old man. Code is a piece of cake…" His mumbling slowly trailed off as he slipped back into unconsciousness, his head lolling to the side. Unfortunately For Ed, the motion knocked over a pitcher of milk; milk that happened to splash all over him.

"What the FUCK-" Edward jumped out of his seat, shaking his arms in a frantic attempt to keep the nastiest substance known to man from seeping into his clothing.

Alphonse turned to Dumbledore. "I think he's awake now, headmaster." He announced, sounding entirely too amused for Edward's taste.

"Indeed." The old man replied, a smile quirking the edges of his mouth. Edward scowled at the both of them.

"There any place I can go to get this damn stuff out of my clothes?" he asked, eyeing the headmaster distastefully.

"Oh, no need my dear boy, no need at all!" And with that Dumbledore pulled out his stick, (or "wand" as the magic folk liked to call it, as though they had walked straight out of a fairy tale) and gracefully waved it in a few complicated movements in front of Edward. He felt the hair on the back of his neck go up, and an uncomfortable dryness flitted over his skin.

Ew Ew Ew Ew! GOD that felt weird.

"What the hell did you just do?" Ed yelped, arms held away from his body as though he was afraid he'd explode if he moved.

Dumbledore smiled winningly at him "Just a simple cleansing charm, nothing to worry about!"

THAT SHIT RIGHT THERE. That was the kind of stuff that lead him to believe that this damn "magic" was something all together different from alchemy. The old man hadn't even touched him, and yet he'd felt the effects of the "spell" all over his body. Edward had read all about cleansing charms. He knew the theory, and he knew what they did. Cleaned dirt or undesirable substances from a person or object.

However, there were some things the books hadn't been so clear about. The text-books claimed that casting a spell was all about "intent". That you had to picture what you wanted the spell to do in your mind, and if you did the wand movements correctly with the right pronunciation the damn thing would do whatever you wanted it to do.

To do something of a similar sort with alchemy, you'd have to know all the components that made up the dirt or "undesirable material", and you'd have to figure out where on earth the stuff was going to go. That meant knowing what made up every single speck of dirt on the person or object.

If someone fell in a pit of mud he'd probably be able to get all the mud off of them if he tried hard enough, but if they'd had dirt already on them from some unidentified source there was no way he'd be able to get _that_ off of them as well. A person had all sorts of grease and lint and bits of dust and dead skin cells on them every second of every day. Even if he knew what made up all of it on every different person there was no way he'd be able to remove enough dead skin cells to make someone "clean" without the possibility of removing too much and accidentally stripping off skin in places where it was already thin. And anyway, that sort of stuff was way too close to human transmutation for his comfort. Heck, to top it all off, it would even take multiple transmutations to take care of the different little bits of lint and dust if they were spaced too far apart on the body.

In other words, it would be a pain in the ass. A really, really, big pain in the ass. And old Dumbles had done just that with a wave of his wand. This stuff…well, it wasn't alchemy.

As far as Edward could tell, with alchemy, the only way to fix Al would be to use a philosopher's stone. They were noticeably out of those at the moment. This "magic" on the other hand, seemed to be so different from alchemy that a philosophers stone might not be necessary at all.

With the way it seemed to be focused more on intent than precision, The issues they'd run into with "what equals a soul" and the like might be resolved with very little effort.

And _that _was the only reason he was even thinking about staying for as long as Dumbledore had suggested. It wasn't really for Flamel's notes anymore. They needed to see people performing magic (despite the knowledge they'd gained from the library, the magical population seemed to be habitually vague on _how_ exactly magic worked), and they needed to figure out on how big of a scale it could actually be used.

And that meant hanging around the school kids. Joy.

Seeing as he had established the fact that the "Magic School" was not some cleverly constructed plot to brainwash kids into thinking they could do something impossible (since magic could very well do many impossible things), he was willing to leave it alone. For now. If he caught any scent of manipulation or shit like that, this place was going down. (He was still planning on interrogating a few of the students no matter what.)

Edward shivered and stiffly shook out his arms before folding them over his chest. "…Thanks." He gritted the word out between his teeth, his cold tone making it very obvious that he wasn't particularly thankful at all. Dumbledore merely smiled and shook his head.

"No thanks needed my boy! Now, as much as it pains me to suggest this, seeing how tired the two of you seem to be, I'm gong to have to advise you get right on decoding these if you plan to be done before the school year starts."

Edward brushed his too-dry hair (Thank you cleansing charm) out of his eyes and smirked. "No issues with that, pops, though I do have to warn you. We'll probably be done with these long before then."

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. "Is that so?" he asked, a contemplative look on his face. "Well then. Perhaps you ought to use the time left over to get to know a few of the professors here. I'm sure you have many questions. They might be able to answer them." He smiled and swept away, leaving the two boys behind with the towering pile of notes.

Ed took a deep breath and ran a hand through his bangs. "Well Al? You ready to start decoding all this stuff?" There might be a chance that with magic they wouldn't need a philosopher's stone, but considering how wily magic seemed, he sure as hell wasn't going to disregard any options.

"You got it, Brother," Al announced, voice strong.

Ed looked up at his younger brother. Al's oddly determined tone of voice had caught him off guard, and he couldn't help but grin a little at the hope he could see flashing in those red eyes.

Ed decided right then and there that he didn't really give a shit about how many laws magic broke. If it helped him fix Al, then it could do whatever it wanted to.

.

Not as long as the last chapter, but longer that previous ones. Hmm. Mainly an informative chapter on how Ed's been thinking. I'll most likely skip to the beginning of the year by next chapter or the one after that.

Does this stuff make sense to any off you? Or do I need to clarify? Are you getting a clear overall picture of how stuff is going to work? TELL ME. I beg of thee. ;A;

AS ALWAYS if you see mistakes please tell me.

HEY, anyone know if the people who have me on story alert get alerts when I edit already existing chapters?

~Freedomtoaster


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